Have you ever struggled to feel God’s Presence-like there is a wall between you? Explore this encounter and apply it to your own life. You might just discover what are some issues you have built up, and how God wants to dissolve them for you!
I participated in a group meditation practice. We were stepping into the Presence of God (Father, Jesus or Holy Spirit), whomever we felt most comfortable with. Then we were asked to look for another Person of the Trinity to engage with. If we were having trouble seeing this Person, then we were to look for the “wall” that was blocking us.
I crossed over with Jesus but then looked for Father and found a wall. I was asked to identify or label the wall and immediately came up with the word: disappointment. I saw that I had built the wall, not Father; all the extra bricks, mortar and trowels, etc. were on my side. The wall looked pretty sturdy and I could see that it has been a project taking many years.
I was a bit surprised that I was identifying trouble with “Father” God because I have pretty much assumed that my good relationship with my earthly dad was carried over into my relationship with Father. But the Spirit prompted me to admit that in fact I DO feel disappointed at times with Father.
Lies I have believed made me feel unsafe, rejected, ignored, abandoned, traumatized, fearful. I expected Father to protect me but it seemed He hadn’t. So I built a wall between us. Prayers I perceive as having gone unanswered have led to sorrows and a sense of “shame,” that I am not worth God delighting me but merely qualify for Him sustaining me so I can continue working… so I continued to build a wall of lies that have been deadly to my soul, harmful to my body and a real block to my spirit connecting with God.
I was asked to consider what God was going to give me to knock down that wall. A pick, perhaps? A hammer? ….No: instead of me having to work to knock down the wall of separation that I had admittedly built, God Himself was dissolving the wall by pouring Christ’s blood on it! As soon as the blood hit the wall (now it is light-filled and alive-not earthly red and sticky…)it began to dissolve as if this holy blood water was hitting sand and not brick! My illusion of separation was quickly being dispersed.
Finally I noticed that the “residue” left behind after the brick wall was dissolved were gemstones! Hidden within what I considered impenetrable and problematic bricks were priceless valuables for me to harvest as I now had a more clear and unincumbered path to Father.
I will make your towers of rubies, your gates of sparkling jewels, and all your walls of precious, delightful stones. Isaiah 54:12
Your Turn to Talk!
Tell us what you think.
Have you ever discovered a wall between you and God that you didn’t realize you had built yourself? What emotion or lie was at the core of it — disappointment, shame, fear? And what happened when you let God dissolve it rather than trying to tear it down yourself? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
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